Teenagers are really fun. They love to joke and play, they will engage you in ways that you don't expect and they are silly beyond acceptable behavior frequently. Michelle has a particular talent for spinning the boys up and throwing them a curve ball that they don't know what to do with. So they respond in kind and in a very sophomoric and playful way they banter back and forth incessantly. I always thought that she would be the one that was super good with toddlers and children and I would be the cool teenager dad. It turned out to be quite the opposite.
As an example: Late one night everyone was getting ready for bed. Mackay in particular does not do well when his useful waking hours allotment has been exceeded. He gets grumpy, a bit short with people and he looses the sheath on his sharp tongue. So we were getting ready for bed and he, of course, was the first to be brushed and changed and was anxiously pushing for everyone to calm down so he could close his eyes. The problem is that the other three (Michelle included) seemed, as with most nights, to just be spinning up. The jokes and stories and one off quips kept coming back and forth. Eventually the topic of discussion came to man-boobs. Yes, man-boobs. How do they form, why do they form, what is the purpose of them, do they ladies like them, etc? Eventually the question was posed, 'What is the name of the medical condition that XXXX (their friend with man-boobs) has?' Exasperated Mackay very loudly announced, "I know what the name of that condition is called. It's called... 'Who the Hell Cares!?!'" And then he went to bed. While the other rolled on the floor laughing.
Then, the night before last, we were all kneeling down to say our family prayer. Usually it takes one person kneeling down and within 8-9 minutes you can eventually convince the rest to do the same. Well, per usual Brigham was the last one to the ground and he was engrossed in something on his phone. He finally knelt down next to Mackay and then Mackay turned to pick up something behind Brigham. Now I have to assume responsibility for what happened next, at least to a degree, because like pavlov's dog I have conditioned these children that if they do not protect their rear ends that they will be swatted just for fun. It has happened to them thousands of times over the years. Subconsciously Brigham knew that by entering the family prayer circle he was in a danger zone and when Mackay rotated behind Brigham he reflexively squealed like a cross between a stuck pig and 12 y/o girl while clutching his rear end and falling away from Mack. He lost his balance and tumbled landing hard on his side. I wish I had a recording of the sound that came from his mouth. It was hilarious. It made me laugh so hard that I too fell over and began to cry. It took us an additional 20 minutes to compose ourselves to where we could finally pray.
Teenagers suck but man sometimes they are great.
No comments:
Post a Comment