Monday, November 23, 2020

How do you Make Holy Water?

This has been an interesting week.  Grandma Susie came down with Covid, and therefore, so did KK and her whole family.  We had gone out to dinner with Grandma after going to the Escape Room with them last Saturday for David's birthday party and so we were locked up for the rest of the week on contact tracing isolation until today.  We have showed zero signs of infection, so no particular worries there, but we decided to try and do something nice for KK.  This afternoon we put together some posters with 'go get'em' slogans like, "We got you Cuz!", "We Love you", "Covid sucks, Get Well Soon" and "Max Hall Hates Covid Almost As Much As He Hate U" (I've rarely been so proud of Michelle, She comes up with some zingers sometimes.)  She's like a dangerous mix of Robin Williams and Professor Umbridge.

After standing on their driveway holding our signs up like John Cusak holding a boom box, we jumped back in the car and went for a drive around the valley to see a couple of Temples.  Our first was a stop at the Draper Temple, because it was right there.  We brought Choco and walked around the grounds chatting with the perpetually motioned teenagers (David thinks he is one so I guess he is).  Then we drove down town, parked by the Conference Center and got out for another walk.  It was a bit chilly but it was really cool to see all the work they were doing on that sacred building.  The engineering is really amazing.  

The traffic on the grounds is understandably deeply depressed from normal holiday visitors.  Once the work is done it will recover but for now, between COVID and the giant city block sized construction it is a mess out there and very few want to be a part of it.  So we had several sets of Sister Missionaries to chat with during our jaunt.  The first set were really nice.  We talked with them for a while and then I asked them to teach our boys a quick lesson, kind of to their surprise.  I don't assume they get to teach very often as mostly they chat, testify and invite visitors.  

At the end of their lesson I pointed out to the boys what an exceptional experience this was to be taught about faith by designated representatives of Jesus Christ--in the shadow of one of the most holy structures on earth.  It was just a cool experience.  Choco even behaved himself pretty well on leash.

Later that evening we sat around the table eating dinner and talking.  Really, at this stage of the game, the boys just go off on these elaborate and incredibly in-depth conversations about video games and Pokémon while Michelle and I just stare at each other wondering what we did so wrong?  During this whole hullabaloo we call dinner, and between reprimands for fighting or retaliating a perceived wrong committed by another Blondie, Brigham made a joke.  "Hey Dad, how do you get Holy Water? Boil the hell out of it!"  I let the profanity go on this one because he was pretty proud of himself.  Then he came back with an observation.  

He said, "You know, when we were walking around tonight Choco stopped to pee once on the temple grounds.  It must have become like "Holy Pee" or something."  I know, but this is what our dinner conversations are like now.  

They were thinking  pretty intently on this metaphysical change that pee could take upon itself when I chipped in, "Ya, it's a good thing he didn't stop to go #2 because that would have been called..."  And then I faded off.  You could actually see the glowing light bulb appear above their heads like a cascade of illumination as they individually got the joke.  I'm not proud of myself but right now that's what I have to do to get their attention, because they are 13, 12 and 9.  I also had to sit on a stool outside their bedroom for nearly an hour to get them to stop talking and go to sleep.  I really suck at parenting teenagers; which is I guess, because they really suck at being teenagers.

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