Darth Vader, Dash and the Zombie Apocolypse on a Sunday morning

This morning I eventually got up, rolled downstairs with the boys and let them play in the basement while their mother tried to stay asleep for another few precious moments.  I was tired and so while they were playing I laid down on the couch and dozed in and out of consciousness, usually in line with their fights and outside voice type outbursts.

I'm not sure if this is true or not but once I woke up and a vampire attacked me.  Not a vampire, meant to say a Zombie.  He was sideways.  Or I guess I was laying down but a midget zombie relentlessly tromped toward me in a rather jerky jerky motion with both arms extended until he came within lunging range and the he took a chomp out of my chest.  I've decided that toddlerhood looks less like he's toddling and more like he's the living undead.

Then I fell back asleep.

The next time I woke up I was in space.  Like Star Wars space.  On some diplomatic transport hurling through the galaxy evading the Imperial destroyer that had apparently been chasing us ever since we came out of light speed.

Just as tension was at it's peak, we were boarded.  I felt a violent shake like we just been hit, or more appropriately that a kid had jumped from the top stair down onto the LoveSac at the bottom.  I rolled over to see what had happened and appearing from the space dust was a very blonde, 4 foot 3 inch cross between Darth Vader and Darth Mal.  He had the flowing gown of Vader and the two bladed light saber of Mal.  The breathing was intense and the saber skills would have impressed even Aunt Galima.

I think he force choked me out shortly after because I fell back asleep.

And woke up to a stiff but brief wind.  I felt something was there, but I really wasn't sure if I was, or I  making it up.  I sat up to get my bearings but all I could notice was that every so often a blur would fly by one side of my head or the other.  At first I could notice nothing more that it had happened.  Then I began to see streaks of blonde intertwined with the moving light.  Shorter than Lord Mal-Vader this kid reminded me of Dash from the Incredibles.

I'd think I'd see him but then I wouldn't.  But things in the room would be just a little bit different.  And then when I thought I'd predicted his next move he wouldn't be there and mild-mannered Mackay Kent would be innocently sitting over by the train table building something with duplo blocks.

Turns out I'm not much of a crime fighter.  Dash Mackay had flown right passed me, tackled his little brother with Justice and returned to the table again, for the sixth time, with only tears as evidence.  The kid is quick.  And has it in for his arch-nemesis.

I benched them all and put them on speaking probation while I fell back asleep.  That worked until I closed my eyes again and the cartoon worlds collided violently again.

I think today is a great day for a Sunday nap after church.  Seriously.