I'm more of an Irish Spring Man myself.

I was talking to Michelle on the phone today and she told me a funny story. One that I feel would be sad to not relay and record in the digital world of blogospheremundo.

Brig spent too much time with his Grandma Susie. He swears like a sailor. Apparently his two new favorite things to say are "I hate this" and "Shit!" Not a dumb child, by any means, he quickly learned that if he didn't say the "T" it was not really a swear word and would not result in harsh teacher looks, swats on the rear and most dreaded by far, SOAP IN THE MOUTH. dumdumdDUMMMM.

Yes, the old soap in the mouth trick. One which mothers have used since the days of Pocahontas slipped up and said "Queech" instead of "quiche" and her mother took her down to the spring and made her ingest the bubbles in the swirl pool known as indian soap.

"Oh dear son, please tell us what it is!! What has done this terrible thing to you to make you go blind at such a young age?" "Mother...Father...it was...it was...SOAP!" - The Christmas Story

Also from another movie, less famously know but equally applicable to Brigs current language impediments right now--The Italian gangster who didn't know how to swear in the movie Johnny Dangerously, "You friggin ice-hole. I'm gonna put your bells in a sling!"

I digress. So yesterday Brig got caught before he could manipulate shit into ship and found himself at the wrong end of the teacher stare. Michelle informed him that this was neither appropriate, acceptable or forgivable and had to be paid for with a blood atonement. So she drug him to the sink to put his choice of soap on his tongue.

The idea was less than appealing and like any two year-old would do, he wriggled free and ran for the great outdoors. Stumbling over chairs, through tables, tripping on toys and grasping hopelessly for the furiously fast jail breaker his mother let out a desperate warning, "You little shit!" as he ran for freedom.

Much like when I tried to convince Air Traffic Control what I wanted to do was appropriate and legal in their eyes and mine, Brig and I fought the law and the law won. ATC put me in the holding penalty box and Brig was drug back to the sink. Soap was inserted and tears streamed.

When he was taken to his room to be benched for a little while he plead his case. "Mommy say 'shit' too." Simple and to the point, the argument had logic on its side.

Grandma Susie hates it when her college students complain to complain about their grades and yet has the policy that she will acquiesce when a logical argument is made, Michelle realized it was her turn to taste the soap. So she put the bar on the tip on her tongue with her son watching and held it there as long as she could stand it - 0.037 seconds. It made her convulse, if not just a little bit. And it made the little boy realize there is justice in the world for all crimes, even mommy's.

So the short moral of the story is: if you are going to swear around Mommy, just be sure you remember to say ship. That goes for Mommy too.